This is my poem [ENGLISH translation]

This is my poem

updated: April 26, 2013 8:18 am

(there will be a literal translation and some abstract? translation. I am really sleepy and tired for now that's why I cannot translate properly)

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Chorus:
This is the poem that I did when the darkness fell
This is the poem that I did when I was still dreaming
This is the poem that I did when I suffered
On the problems that I don't want to seek anymore
I will just write it down on this poem

Verse 1:
While I was writing on this paper
Using this ballpen that I don't even know
If I will still understand this tomorrow
Because of my difficulty on writing these letters down

I was suffering that I feel like I was piercing
On my thread that cannot surpass its needle*
And because of it, I hid these on a bottle
So that no one knows that I am blind today

And each glance that I did, I wanted to tell you something
Those lies that I should do it before yesterday
That I was that girl who suffered on this darkness
A martyr that will obey your command

That even my tears are flowing down many times already
I am still standing up for me to know
Your policies and my future
Am I right already right of what I'm doing for my future?

Chorus:
This is the poem that I did when the darkness fell
This is the poem that I did when I was still dreaming
This is the poem that I did when I suffered
On the problems that I don't want to seek anymore
I will just write it down on this poem

Verse 2:
When I was a child, I dreamed to be
An actress that will show on the TV
So that I will gain profit and will not suffer anymore
my parents for them to pay for my tuition

They taught me on how to sing, they taught me on how to act
Everyone will notice me because of my talent
Having many calls and texts, they are finding me
That's why the class calls me as an illusion of their dreams

Always absent in the class, money always takes priority
Thousands of money to gain for a day, nothing knowledge to attain
But for me, even if I stop studying is already good for me
Because I want to rich more, than to suffer on these things

But later on, I was wondering
Why no one is seeking for me
My parents kneel, saying that
I will end this one, study should be done

I suddenly cried inside from the bottom of my heart
I loved those, why are you going to return it suddenly?
But because I was just a child, I can't do anything
Because they are parents I need to obey their policies

Chorus:
This is the poem that I did when the darkness fell
This is the poem that I did when I was still dreaming
This is the poem that I did when I suffered
On the problems that I don't want to seek anymore
I will just write it down on this poem

Verse 3:
Years passed, and I am already changed
The name that I took care of years ago is gone
Every second I am thinking, every day I am dreaming
If what these sufferings still needs for me to be killed?

And every footsteps that I take, I am hurting myself
I am just injuring these things like nothing
But when I was alone, I suddenly remembered all of them
Who was I when I was a child in my past?

And when I see this blade, I started to wonder
Asking myself if I am right of what I will be doing
Staring blankly, and thinking on my next move
Is there something happen if I do all of these?

And I suddenly remembered those people that I love
Even God who started all of my life
I thought for a moment of why He did these lies
Those things for me to feel suffer and die

I cried with blood suddenly in my eyes
I fell this blade that I already hold for a while
"Please forgive me, O God, I just realized
that all of these things were just an obstacles of ours."

Chorus:
This is the poem that I did when the darkness fell
This is the poem that I did when I was still dreaming
This is the poem that I did when I suffered
On the problems that I don't want to seek anymore
I will just write it down on this poem